alright. i refuse to be negative, because frankly that's all i have been and i'm trying to improve my attitude. as shitty as this all has been including the culminating rejection, i have decided that i believe the people who tell me that college is what you make it. so i'm going to make it. simple as that.
it doesn't matter that we (I) didn't get in anymore, what matters is that we continue to pursue whatever we were going to in the first place, because if we are really that good at what we do, we don't need a school to do it for us. i believe strongly in the concept of mind over matter, and this is just another test of that. even if we don't get to go to our ideal school, we can still become our ideal selves.
this was more for my benefit, really, but i wanted to share.